Don't Shut Me Out
by Nalbyismylife
Summary: A prequel based on my story "Of Broken Hearts and Letting Go". Could stand on its own but you should read my other fic first. This is Gally's past, the story of the fateful day that he was attacked and almost killed - the incident that brought him together with Ben - and when Gally shut Ben out until Ben died. This is the story of why Gally hates Newt and why he is afraid of him


**Title: Don't Shut Me Out**

**Summary: A prequel based on my story "Of Broken Hearts and Letting Go". Could stand on its own but you should read my other fic first. This is Gally's past, the story of the fateful day that he was attacked and almost killed - the incident that brought him together with Ben - and when Gally shut Ben out until Ben died. This is the story of why Gally hates Newt and why he is afraid of him, and why Gally is so obsessed with rules - and, most importantly, why the Maze is home to him. Oneshot **

**Rated: T**

**Pairing(s): Gally/Ben, Newt/Minho, Nick/Alby, OC/OC **

**Genre(s): Romance, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort**

**Warning(s): Angst, intense kissing, implied sex, death, mentioning of attempted suicide, violence **

**AN: This story is for all of you who like my fanfiction "Of Broken Hearts and Letting Go". After building up on Gally's character a bit, I got the idea to elaborate on his past even more, which was going to take a whole new fanfic. This story will be for sure in both Gally and Ben's PoV's and maybe Newt's PoV later. I also chose Scott and Aidan's names from the wall of names in the movie. Hope you all like it :) **

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><p><em>I won't give up on us<em>

_Even if the skies get rough_

_I'm giving you all my love_

_I'm still looking up_

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><p>Gally's PoV:<p>

I was walking in the woods when it happened. I shouldn't have been wandering alone by myself in the woods without some kind of a weapon, anyway. Stupid. That was probably just asking for it. It was like shouting, _Hey, I'm alone, come and get me! _

The attack had happened so quickly. It was a boy named Scott, who hated me, because I had been the majority vote to get his best friend to get Banished a few months earlier for stabbing Nick in the leg. Scott had slammed himself into me, pinning me down. I saw the knife in his hand, getting ready to kill me, and I thought, _Please, Scott. Get me the hell out of here. _

Those thoughts were how it all started.

I hadn't shouted for help. The only reason why I had lived was because Newt had just happened to be in the woods, purely by chance. "What the bloody hell is going on?!" Newt had shouted, his voice so scary that Scott had bolted the moment he was caught. The boy with the long blond hair had terrified me even more. I was fourteen at the time. We had only been living in the Glade for a little over a year.

Newt helped me up off the ground, his blue eyes filled with kindness. "You okay?" he asked in his thick British accent.

"I'm fine," I lied, but every cell in my body was screaming, _No, I'm not fine, I'm not okay. _Without saying anything else, without even thanking Newt, I walked away.

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><p>There was a Gathering the next day to decide what would happen to Scott. It was held in a room in the Homestead, where the Keepers, the leader (Nick) and his second-in-command (Alby), and anyone else who was important to their meeting sat in a circle of chairs. Scott wasn't a Keeper or a leader, but he was there since he had been involved in the incident. Newt was also there, though since he was neither a leader or a Keeper, he didn't attend most Gatherings - unlike me, since my position as Keeper of the Builders forced me to attend the meetings. Scott was all the way across the circle from me- Nick and Alby had this arranged on purpose so Scott couldn't attack me easily. In the middle of the room sat a recorder, in case the conversation needed to be played back at some point during the future.<p>

"First order of business is to go over what happened," Nick said. "We will hear out both sides of the story and then decided punishment. It is certain that there will be some sort of punishment. As my second-in-command, do you agree, Alby?"

Alby nodded.

"Gally, tell me your side of the story," Nick said.

"I was walking in the woods when Scott just came out of nowhere and attacked me," I said. "He knocked me over onto the ground and held up a knife to kill me. I was sure I would die. And then Newt saved me and Scott ran."

"Shucking coward," Minho, the Keeper of the Runners, said. Newt, who was Minho's boyfriend, squeezed his hand.

Nick nodded. "Did Scott hurt you? Did that blade touch you at all?" he asked me.

I shook my head. "No," I answered. "Newt got to me before Scott could do anything besides knock me down." I didn't miss the obvious love in Minho's eyes as the Keeper of the Runners smiled at his boyfriend.

"Thank you for your side of the story, Gally," Nick said. "Do you swear that you are telling the truth, and accept any punishment shall we find out you are lying?"

"Yes, I swear," I said.

Nick glared at Scott. "Scott, tell me your side of the story," he said with gritted teeth. Alby put a hand on Nick's arm. The gesture made me wonder, for the first time, if there was something between the two.

"Well, Nick," Scott snarked, his arms folded, which definitely wasn't helping his already hopeless case. We all knew what happened. I was there. Newt was there. "This shank got my best friend killed."

"No," Alby immediately argued. "Your best friend got _himself_ killed for stabbing my - for stabbing Nick." The dark skinned boy flushed, confirming my suspicions. Jealousy suddenly overwhelmed me as I realized how alone I was. I wished I had someone to love me like that. "Scott, if you keep blaming everyone else but yourself, it will do nothing but worsen your punishment."

"I'm already going to be punished!" Scott spat. "I loved Aidan and now he's gone." I was instantly shocked - I didn't think Aidan and Scott had been together like that. "So just punish me, all right? I don't want to live without him anymore." To my surprise, tears filled Scott's eyes, but I didn't feel bad for him and I don't think anyone else in the room did, too, at least not after he'd tried to kill me. "I tried to kill Gally. That's it. Everybody knows it."

"All right," Nick said. "Next order of business. The punishment for homicide or attempted homicide is Banishment. Does anyone object to this?"

No one raised their hand.

Scott didn't react much to this. Maybe he really didn't want to live without Aidan. I didn't understand how someone could make you feel so strongly that you didn't want to live without them, but then I had never experienced love. No one loved me.

What I didn't know was that this was about to change.

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><p>Scott's Banishment was scheduled to happen in the next half hour, after the Gathering was over. Newt and I were kicked out of the room during the remainder of the Gathering and Scott was immediately locked in the Slammer. I didn't go anywhere near the Slammer and neither did Newt. Newt walked off towards the kitchens and I slumped down against a tree and stared off into space.<p>

When I saw everyone come out of the Homestead, I got up and ran over to Nick. "Is he being Banished?" I asked.

Nick nodded. I realized he and Alby were holding hands and quickly turned away. A crowd was gathering by the Doors just as they were about to close, and I saw two Gladers bringing Scott over. Scott wasn't struggling to get away.

The Doors started to close and I took my place as Keeper of the Builders, in the circle of Keepers who did Banishments, and helped to shove Scott into the Maze. And then I realized: _I didn't want to live in here, trapped in here._ The Maze Doors were closing. I didn't have to live in here.

I dropped my pole and darted for the Maze - but instantly was knocked over for the second time today and I had the wind knocked out of me. By the time I got my breath back, the Doors had closed. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" Newt shouted in my face.

I wiped the spit out of my face. Newt grabbed me by the shirt and yanked me up - shuck it, he was strong. Nick and Alby were behind him and between the three of them, they half dragged me, half carried me to the Slammer and threw me in. "No one goes in the Maze!" Newt yelled, and Minho had to hold him back from reaching through the bars and strangling me, probably. "What were you trying to do, kill yourself-" Newt's eyes widened in realization. "Minho," he said in a dangerously calm voice.

Minho instantly wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "I'm here," he murmured. Newt buried his face in Minho's chest and I felt a pang when I heard the blond boy sob. Minho led him away and Alby and Nick gave me a last look before leaving me alone in the Slammer, at night.

Terrified of being left alone in this small, frightening cell, I huddled in a corner, squeezing tears out of my eyes.

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><p>Ben's PoV:<p>

I was working on adding to the Homestead when the Keepers piled out of the front door and down the steps, deep in conversation. I heard things like _Gally_ and _a month_ and_ the Slammer. _I wondered who would replace Gally as Keeper of the Builders, until Gally was released from the Slammer. Last night I'd heard rumours that Gally had been thrown in the Slammer for trying to run out into the Maze. I'd heard Newt sobbing for a good part of the night and Minho trying to comfort him, and I remembered when Newt had tried to kill himself. He probably wasn't too happy that Gally tried to kill himself too.

After I was done with my work, I went over to the Slammer. I knew Gally because he was my boss but didn't personally know him. Still, I felt bad for him and thought that he might like some company. "Hey," I said, knocking on one of the bars.

Gally jumped and looked up at me. "Ben?" he said. He looked surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to keep you company," I answered, sitting down in front of the cell.

"Oh," Gally said. "Well...thanks."

"Why did you try to kill yourself, you stupid shank?" I suddenly heard myself saying.

Gally's eyes widened and he looked like he'd been punched in the gut. "I don't want to live here," he said. "I'd rather die."

"Don't say that."

"It's true!" Gally said.

"Well then, I'm glad they locked you up," I replied.

Gally glared. "Just go away," he said.

"Not likely."

"I'm not going to get rid of you very easily, am I?" Gally remarked.

"Nope," I answered.

"Shank."

I couldn't help laughing.

Gally and I talked for hours, until the sun went down. As it started to get late, I realized that we had been talking for over 5 hours. "Shuck, Gally," I said at one point, "how long have we been talking?"

Gally's eyes widened when he looked at his watch. "It's late," he said. "You should get some sleep."

Right on cue, I yawned. "Okay," I said. I smiled at him. "I'll see you tomorrow."

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><p>I brought Gally breakfast tomorrow, as an excuse to talk to him. As we got to know each other better, there was trust involved in our relationship. I cared about Gally. I really, really cared about him.<p>

About a week and a half after that first conversation, we were talking and it was as late as it had been that first day, and I could tell Gally was starting to fall asleep. "Hey, you," I said. "Falling asleep?"

Gally answered with a yawn and I smiled. "Mmmhmm" he mumbled. God, he was cute.

Wait, what did I just think?

In that moment I knew I was falling in love. Wonderful. I was falling in love with my boss. Nick and Alby would love that. One of Nick's rules: you could be with anyone except your Keeper. Keepers needed to be focused on their work, and apparently I would be a distraction for Gally.

_Screw it_, I thought.

"Ben?" Gally murmured.

"Yeah?" I said.

"Stay with me. Please," Gally said, leaning his head against the bars.

I reached through the bars for his hand. Gally's eyes flew open and he stared at me in surprise before squeezing my hand. "Of course," I said, squeezing back. "Go to sleep, shank."

He smiled at me and we fell asleep holding hands. Did I care about getting caught holding hands with my Keeper?

Not a bit. Nick and Alby could deal.

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><p>Gally's PoV:<p>

I couldn't believe how quickly I had fallen in love.

I'd probably fallen for Ben that first night. He was sweet and funny and he kept me company. I could tell he cared about me and I was grateful for that. He'd slept beside my cell each night ever since the night I asked him to stay with me. But I didn't think Ben returned my feelings. His feelings towards me felt platonic, and I was too afraid to ask him.

One evening, a week before I was supposed to get out of the Slammer (we were counting down the days), Ben was telling me about the party the previous night. "-and Jeff threw up all over Nick, it was shucking hilarious," Ben laughed, and my heart fluttered.

"I love you," I blurted out.

Ben blinked, as if this surprised him, and he looked at me with wide eyes. "What?"

"You heard me." I swallowed, trying to sound confident. "I love you."

The next thing I knew, Ben's hands were clutching my shirt and his lips were pressed against mine through the bars in a desperate kiss. My eyes widened in pure shock and then I closed them. I kissed him back when the shock wore off. Our tongues searched each other's mouths and Ben's mouth felt so good against mine that I moaned.

We kissed for what seemed like a long time - not long enough - and when Ben pulled away, he ran his hands down my chest. "Next week, when I can properly touch you..." He didn't finish the sentence, and I blushed, extremely looking forward to next week when Ben could properly touch me.

"Touch me now," I said, reaching for Ben's hand. I put it between my legs and we both gasped. God, that felt good. I wanted more. I wondered how much we could do through the bars...

Ben closed his eyes and pulled his hand back, and I was pleased that he looked reluctant to do it. "We should wait," he said.

"We can probably do a lot through the bars-" I started.

"No, we should wait." He kissed me and I didn't argue. We fell asleep together holding hands, like we had many nights.

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><p>A week later, on the day that I was supposed to get out of the Slammer, I woke up to find Ben and Nick standing in front of my cell. Ben was smiling. "Rise and shine, sweetheart," he said teasingly.<p>

I instantly noticed Nick holding the keys. I wanted to get out of there so bad, it wasn't even funny. I sobbed with relief and the second the door swung open, I was in Ben's arms and we were kissing. I couldn't have cared less that Nick was there. I heard Nick gasp in surprise, but I wrapped my arms around my boyfriend's neck and kissed him so deeply my knees felt weak. We were both crying and his arms were around my waist, tightly.

When we finally stopped kissing I rested my head on Ben's shoulder and closed my eyes. He held me as I soaked his shirt with tears of joy. "I love you," I gasped out, my arms tightly around him.

"I love you, too," he murmured, kissing my hair.

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><p>After a while of holding each other and kissing and crying, Ben and I headed towards the Homestead together, holding hands. Everyone greeted me and I smiled and shook hands and hugged people until we went up the stairs to find an empty bedroom. The instant the door closed behind us, Ben pushed me up against the door and kissed me, hard. A whimper escaped my lips and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he picked me up and I yelped and tightened my grip around his neck as he threw me down on the bed, climbing on top of me. We kissed hungrily and the sound of ripping fabric echoed through the room as he tore my shirt to shreds. I clung to Ben as he kissed my neck, then my chest, and I felt my face heat up when he kissed my stomach. Ben glanced lower and he looked up at me for permission; I nodded.<p>

It was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced. Ben was gentle and kind, and he held me as I sobbed in pain, whispering soothing words to me. Afterwards, we held each other as he murmured over and over again how much he loved me and how special I was to him, bringing tears to my eyes. I couldn't believe I was finally holding him, something I had wanted to do ever since that first night. It was as we held each other that I finally understood what it was like to love someone so much that I wouldn't want to live without them. Because I wouldn't want to live without Ben. I couldn't even imagine it.

And did I care that I was a Keeper and Ben was one of my Builders, and our relationship was forbidden? Not a bit. I had three words for Nick and Alby: _Deal with it. _I was head over heels in love with my Builder and I was _going_ to be with my Builder, whether those shanks liked it or not.

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><p>Ben and I had been together for four months when I started to shut him out. At the time, I wasn't aware how much I was hurting my boyfriend. I had started to become obsessed with the rules. Just the thought of being thrown in the Slammer again made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't focus on anything else. I had taken my place back as Keeper of the Builders when I got out of the Slammer, and honored my position by working almost 20 hours a day. I'd had an addition to the Homestead built in days. I yelled at my Builders, including Ben, that they needed to work harder when they worked as hard as any other boss would have expected them to.<p>

I got into a fight with Ben one night. I'd been especially mean to one of my Builders, by punching him in the face when I was in a bad mood, but that didn't excuse it. Ben pulled me aside and said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm just trying to do my job, Ben!" I'd said. "They're slacking off!"

"No they're not!" Ben said. "They're doing an amazing job, and if you can't see it, sucks for you. This isn't the Gally that I know and love. This isn't the Gally who I slept beside every night outside the Slammer."

"Well, _this_ Gally doesn't want to be thrown back _into_ the Slammer!" I yelled.

Ben stared at me like I'd punched him in the gut. "What are you doing, Gally?" he said in a dangerously calm voice. "I'm trying to help y-"

Tears filled my eyes. "No, you aren't," I choked out. Ben's eyes glistened with tears. "I thought you loved me. People who love you are supposed to support you-"

"God, Gally, of course I support you!" Ben yelled. He reached for my hand and I yanked it back.

"Don't," I said, my vision blurry with tears.

"No, _you_ don't, Gally," Ben said harshly, his face inches from mine. "_You_ don't. Don't shut me out. Why are you acting like this?"

The tears streamed down my cheeks. "I don't want to be thrown in the Slammer again!" I exclaimed. "I'm breaking the rules by being with you!" Ben's eyes widened in realization.

"Gally, they accept us-"

"Well they might change their mind one day," I said, "and then where would we be? Kept apart by the shuck bars again? I don't want that."

My heart lurched when I realized Ben was crying too. "We're kept apart now because you're shutting me out, Gally." He reached for my hands and this time I let him. "It doesn't matter because I don't have my Gally either way now."

I felt my eyes widen. His words broke my heart and I think, for a moment at least, the old Gally had come back. "You have me," I said, my voice soft, unlike how it had been moments ago. "I love you." I kissed him and pulled him close, wrapping my arms around his waist.

We made love that night, but it was the last time we made love before I shut him out again. We fought almost daily. And then Ben had gotten stung and I stayed by his bed until I fell asleep and he escaped and attacked Thomas.

When Ben got Banished, I wept for hours and felt my heart breaking into a million pieces, as if it had never existed.

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><p><strong>AN: Hope you guys liked it and review please? :) <strong>


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